we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
