I want to make a zoo with you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
