So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
