The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He called his prostate his "boner button".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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