he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
