so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
