Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
