He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
MIDGETS
????
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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