what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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