um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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