my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
