it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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