I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
