You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
