Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am mentally ready for anal.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
