Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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