My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
