Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
