GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
