We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
