I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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