It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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