if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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