Please, let me fuck your mom
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
