Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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