party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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