I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
