Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
