spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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