you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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