The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
