if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
