I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
