My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
