Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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