She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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