I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
