and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
