so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
