I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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