So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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