Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
