I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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