Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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