i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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