is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
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