Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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