At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
