I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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