Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
