I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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