Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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