I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
