Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
