Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
