Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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