whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
